My progress with MUA temporarily halted (I've had to send the disc back, it's damaged and I'm waiting for a new one), I downloaded the Crackdown demo.  Crackdown is pretty fun. It's more fun than GTA (at least for me), probably because of two things. Firstly, the shooting people. The targeting and health bar makes it much more shooter-ish, and face it, shooting people never gets old. Secondly, the jumping. I couldn't work out how the jumping worked at first (having recently played games that used double-jump). So I'm tapping the A button and wondering why I'm not getting enough height. Turns out you have to *hold down* the A button. Once I had that sussed it was lots of fun.

By the time I was timed out of the demo, I could jump higher than 15 feet, which meant I could pretty easily leap onto the roof of a single story building. Collecting all the agility awards - lots of fun.

However, what I didn't like about it was being timed out. I *hate* demos that do that. If I'm enjoying playing your game, I don't like being kicked out just because you think I've played long enough. If I keep playing I might get addicted and have to have it now. That's what happened with LSW II and N3. If you kick me out I might forget about it and not buy it until much, much later on when it's at a bargain price.

That said, I'll probably get it if Striek does. The way he described the multiplayer sounded really great. I do have a gift voucher to use at EB, I've just been waiting for something to use it with. But then, enjoying GTA wears off once the missions require too much driving skill, so maybe I'll rent it and see if I continue to enjoy it to the degree that makes it a worthwhile purchase.

I finished Eragon, which is nothing really to be proud of - unchallenging as it was. However, that means that today I pop it in the post to return it. It's all straightforward and everyone knows how it works, I'm just still enjoying it. :-) Tonight I start on MUA. (Cluskevird, Angel, do either of you guys want to play co-op for an achievement or two?)

As far as the Gamebridge goes, it seems the whole thing is a bust. Basically, although it says "Xbox 360 compatible", what it means is "NTSC Xbox 360 compatible". Am I pissed? Yes, yes I am. I'm pissed because I don't consider SD to be fully compatible. [Cut mild rant on how NTSC only is indicative of the endemic US attitude that anything beyond their borders is merely a bad dream*]. The software is PAL compatible, the hardware isn't. I'm not impressed. Striek is going to take a look at it, but I don't know how much luck he'll have.

So, in the event that Striek can't work his magic on it either, I'm going to look at converting Ye Old Clunker into a pared down screenshot device. At the bare minimum I will need a) a capture card, b) a new o/s, and c) a smaller case (the tower it's in is massive!).

I'm going to look at this as a project and see if I can do it myself. I've discussed the whole thing for so long with Striek and Dr F that I'd feel silly asking for more help, and I think I've got a reasonably good idea of what to do. I'm going to find the capture card I want, and then work out if the bits in the old PC are compatible. Compatibility is a bit of a sore spot right now, so that should ensure that I'll at least be thorough. I'm probably not going to get much more life out of the old PC (maybe a year?) so I'll do everything on the cheap except for the capture card, because when the old PC does eventually shuffle off this mortal circuit, I can reuse that elsewhere.

Sorry about this thinking-out-loud bit, I'm just...er...thinking out loud. :-\ It should work, right?

(* I want to say that the citizens of the United States that I have come to know and love in this arena have shown themselves to be considerate people who possess at least a fundamental level of global awareness. That's why I cut it.)

Also known as 'hiring'.

The video store...before I continue, 'video store' is an anachronism. When was the last time you borrowed a video? Video = VHS, these days video stores are full (or should be full) of DVDs. And games. Numedia. However, you can't say 'DVD store', because that makes it sound like you're going to a shop to *buy* DVDs. Not the case. Perhaps they will become known as 'media hire centres', but that just sounds wanky.

As I was going to say, the video store does not offer value for money. Sure, you can get a good deal on the weeklies (2 games for $9), but they don't seem to put games into the weekly bracket until they're 9, maybe 10 months old. If you want to play a *new* game, you have to hope that you're lucky enough to find it there, and then pay a substantial portion of the retail price in order to keep it long enough to finish it. If you were going to hire a game like Oblivion, it would cost you more in fees than it would to buy.

You may remember that at Christmas time I was considering getting a membership with a game rental website. Rentertainer vs GameHorde. Rentertainer had the better deal, but crappy website, GameHorde had a lovely website but crappy deal. In the end, fiscal responsibility won out and I went with the Rentertainer. They let you have two games at once without paying $40/month.

My first two games arrived yesterday, the ones that were available when I threw together my list. Eragon and Marvel Ultimate Alliance. I started playing Eragon last night.

Eragon is not quite as craptacular as they would have you believe. Having said that, I was shocked and stunned by the fixed camera. That is so...last century. I'm only up to level 5 so far (I play through on Hard, then go through on Normal, because they won't give you the normal points when playing hard - that's teh suck.) And it hasn't been terribly challenging. Using the precision shot to kill enemies _who aren't even on the screen_ makes even me feel uncomfortable about how easy it is, and I'm normally not bothered by any kind of ethical qualms.

The storyline, from those cutscenes I feel like watching, seems to be a reasonably complete ripoff of Anne McCaffrey's Dragonflight. I haven't read Christopher Paolini's books, but unless I see something original soon, I'm not sure why I should bother.

If someone had paid full price for this game, I can certainly understand why they would be pissed about it. It doesn't seem to deliver anything that hasn't been done with more style by games 3 years older. However...it's okay. It's playable. I'm playing it. I figure that I'll finish this one and return it (so that I can get the next one on my list), once I've popped Eragon in the post I'll start on MUA.

Every so often I get the urge for a little nostalgia. For most people that means the kind of games that clog the arcade like crud in a smoker's arteries (I like the *new* arcade games), but for me it usually means Xbox games. Yes, I frequently get the urge for some old school PC RPGs, but as my PC won't even play PS:T, they're off limits until I upgrade.

So I've been playing through Thief: Deadly Shadows again. Do you know, it's scarier than I remembered it. Now, while I think my threshold tolerance for gore is higher than what society considers normal, I will be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to supernatural horror. Perhaps I take it all too seriously. If you accept the existence of angels then you have to also accept the existence of demons - and all that that entails. I managed to watch The Omen without too many problems, but there is no way I could watch The Exorcist. I couldn't even watch the ad when they re-released it. On the other hand, I love Zombie flicks. Zombies are just reanimated humans. They're kind of funny, with their bits falling off all the time.

The zombies on the Shalebridge Cradle level of Thief: Deadly Shadows aren't your usual zombies though. They're wrapped in brown paper(?) or linen, like mummies, and their hands and heads are cased in wire braces. I'm unsure if the wire was ever a treatment for mental patients, I haven't been able to confirm it at all, but it looks as though it would stop them hitting their heads and gouging their eyes out. (I'd like to know for sure, maybe I should write to Ion Storm and ask for their inspiration.) All of that isn't the creepy part though. Their stiff jerky clock-work like movements are moderately creepy, but creepiest of all is the way they make the lights flicker. It's straight out of a horror movie - the kind that freak me out.

Intellectually, I know that it's *good* that they make the lights flicker. You can tell when they're getting near, and they can't sneak up on you. However, I found it a really hard level to play, because of the atmosphere. The whole game has good atmosphere, but that level was pretty bad. Worse than Condemned.

I think I'll only play up to that level. Or maybe I'll play some more Lego Star Wars II instead. Sometimes, I can be such a chicken.

There's just not enough nice things to say about Microsoft's Xbox Division. They continually surprise me with their generosity. Their latest gift to me was a note in my inbox that said:

That's fine with me, they have my love. I love you Xbox Guys!

(FYI: Yes, I made the GoW painting myself. Details are here.)

Sure, plenty of stuff has happened over Christmas. The only thing that I'm desperate to share is that my stepson Andrew bought me the Logitech Nitro Racing Wheel for Christmas.

This happened to neatly coincide with my purchasing Gozz's spare copy of PGR3.

I spent all boxing day racing and cursing because I'm so crap at racing. The wheel makes things better though. All praise the Wheel! I'm playing on Novice, which I feel is appropriate to my skill level. I'm getting better at the braking/not crashing into walls thing, but I'm still having huge problems with the thing where the car skids and you can't really control it. If I could learn to deal with that, I'd be having a much better time.

On the 22nd we had a LAN to christen Striek's new pad. Despite the season-impaired turnout, it was still pretty cool. We mostly played GoW multiplayer (which was surprisingly non-sucky) and discovered how much my Halo 2 skills have atrophied since the release of the 360.

Also, I gave Striek his housewarming present, which means I can now post pics of it here. It didn't turn out quite the way I wanted, and I never did get the lettering perfect, but on the whole I think it's not too bad. Our Mum still hasn't seen it, as far as I'm aware.

You know, I still don't think that's a very good catchphrase. As I understand it, it references skipping, where you have to let the two rope-holders establish a rhythm before you jump in. You can jump in, you can jump out. You can jump back in again. I suppose that what it's trying to say is: "You don't have to be a gamer to enjoy the 360. You can pick up a controller and go. It's intuitive, it's n00b friendly, play as much or as little as you like." (Skipping isn't intuitive. It's rhythmic, which is completely different.)

For me, this misses the point *completely*. The great thing about the 360 isn't that it's easy to use, it's the connectivity. The community. The being with your buddies all the time - even when you're playing games that aren't related. The team-like aspect of the 360 isn't something that I associate with skipping - where if you fuck up the rhythm and trip over the rope, everyone has to start all over again and it's all your fault.

The reason that this particularly comes to mind today is that we're breaking in Striek's new pad with a LAN. He's moving in today and tonight...tonight we rock! There will be some Gears, some PGR 3 and some Halo 2. I've brought along my Double Agent in the hope of a little Splinter Cell - but I guess that depends on whether anyone else is bringing theirs. I'm hopeful but not optimistic.

While this isn't the official housewarming, I am going to give Striek his housewarming present tonight. The lettering still isn't great, but at least I know what I would do differently next time. Once he's got it I'll put up some pics.

This is the last working day before Christmas, so you probably won't hear from me until the 27th-ish. However, I do have a couple of tips to help you through the festive period.

1) Finding it hard to spend time with your 360? Everyone is having a party at this time of year so you can take advantage of the fact. "I'd love to stay, but I've got another party to go to." or "I'm sorry I can't come - I already said I'd go to another party" Let everyone think that you're at a party while you go home and spend time with the one you really love.

2) Keep the kids at bay. A 360 is not a toy! Don't let them near it with their sticky little fingers and their complete lack of understanding about not scratching discs. If their parents can't keep them under control, lock the little buggers outside. That'll learn 'em.

3) Coordination gone down hill? Finding it harder than usual to find the racing line or pull of that combo? You're pissed. Lay off the alcohol until *after* you've finished gaming for the day.

4) Didn't get the 360 game/accessories you wanted? Make sure everyone knows about it. Undo the wrapping with an expression of gleeful anticipation, then don't hide how despondent you are. Say things like "No, really, that blender is *great*. I'm so glad that you didn't get me Gears of War. I didn't really want it anyway." Of course, make sure you say that with a trembling lip and a tear in your eye. If at all possible, let your voice break as you hold back tears.

5) Are you feeling bloated after pigging out on turkey and seafood? Some might recommend Wii sports to try and burn off those extra kilojules. Don't believe them! Agitating food before it's properly digested will cause heartburn, indigestion, reverse peristalsis, diahorrea, blindness, paralysis and in severe cases, death. Much better to stick with the 360, which will only cause happiness. ;-)

Merry Christmas to all and to all a 'good game'.

When I spoke to Striek on the weekend, he was disconnected (from the world, where the world is defined as XBL) so I had to tell him, with my voice that I was playing Condemned.

I've played the first two levels. I played them in the afternoon in a room with west-facing windows, so the dark gritty ambience of the game was nicely countered by the rich golden afternoon light streaming in, and also by the angelic warbling of our semi-domesticated magpies. (I'm sure that if I could speak magpie I'd hear them demanding more grated cheese and chicken skin. We have very well-fed magpies, the matriarch of the clan looks like an evil black and white chicken.)

Right, Condemned. Yes, it's pretty creepy. But I managed to keep the creepiness at one remove as it were - on the teev instead of all around me. Like I told my brother, I was just taking it one deranged homeless person at a time. One is okay. It's when they double-team you that it gets a bit bad. Fortunately, there are health packs *everywhere*.

I was doing okay. It was much, MUCH easier to play than the FEAR PC demo. I'm not running, screaming, through the levels. I'm taking them cautiously, room by room, closing doors behind me, so to speak. I'm looking for the birds - I've got them all so far, although I had to backtrack to find one of them. It was under a trolley! Bastards. Luckily the flies gave it away. I'm missing a couple of metal plates though. I don't even understand what the metal plates *are*. And what's with the eyes? Is it a reference to how you're being watched?

Ahh, now I've strayed into the internal narrative of the game, which has improved from the start (the CSI bit at the beginning didn't endear itself to me). So far there are many interesting questions, such as the following:

* Why are the birds dying? Are the birds and the street people being infected by the same disease? If it is an easily communicable disease, how come you haven't got it yet?

* How suspicious should I be of Van Horne? The guy is clearly a stalker. He knows all this stuff about you, your past - he has your phone number (and probably an illegally-cut house key) and yet when you find out that someone has been watching you from the building next door, taking photos and cutting your cases out of the paper - for some reason you don't automatically connect Stalker A and Stalker B. Yah-huh. The game wants you to be suspicious of him, but does he look a little too suspicious? Is it a red herring? Or is "The Suspect" actually trying to help you and Van Horne is an evil murderer? (Damn, I didn't get a look at his hand.)

* "The Suspect" so far hasn't done a hell of a lot. He's smoked a cigarette, and shot two cops with your gun - although that didn't actually *feel* like he was setting you up. Somehow, even though you've spent hours sleeping off a concussion in your apartment, he's still hanging around in the next building over. He's not running from you, he's leading you. Why?

* Why (if he's on your side) does Van Horn give you such bad advice, and why do you think it's a good idea to follow it? Considering that you haven't done anything wrong, personally, I'd take my chances with telling the truth in this case, and risk ending up in a nice, warm, zombie-proof cell with three square meals per day. I don't see how this is any worse than being on the run from both cops and zombies and in risk of death (or infection?) minute by minute. Because, even if you do solve the case, who's to say they'll believe you. You're now a wanted man and a fugitive. I'm sure that they'll take your word for it and wouldn't dream of accusing you of using your time on the run to fake evidence.

To summarise, at the moment Van Horn looks like a dodgier prospect than "The Suspect" - so far, anyway. I'm not sure if I should be suspicious of him, or if the game wants me to be suspicious of him so I should really be suspicious of someone else.

I've only hired it (I wanted to finish off Gun, but that was out), so I'll probably play another level or two before I have to take it back.

American Wasteland is *hard*.

A few people - people I will not name - seem to be having some difficulty with Viva Piñata. I hope these comments work.

* Keep your space clean.

Don't have shit you don't need in your garden. Preztails are eating your bunnycombs? Sell off one (or ideally both) species. If you need them for another requirement later on, you can always buy them from Gretchen. Don't keep trees that aren't producing fruit anymore. Taffly became a resident? If you don't need it, sell it immediately. Keeping your space clean means that you're less likely to get the "your garden is full!" messages, you won't have to waste time breaking up fights, and it makes it easier to find the little buggers. At the start of the game I had a fenced area to protect the smaller piñatas from predators. Watch the sprinkling though, she leaves the gate open.

* Generate an income

But Vellan, you say, I don't want to have to buy things from Gretchen. It's *expensive*. No, I tell you, shut up and listen to me. Money is not a problem in Viva Pinata. I have around 250,000 at the moment, and I spend like a drunken sailor. There are two keys to making money: 1) breed piñatas, and 2) fertilize.

1) Piñata breeding. You need to breed them anyway to get the master romancer achievement. The key is to always, ALWAYS use the romance sweets. They cost 6 coins each, and you use them on piñatas that have already had their romance requirements satisfied. (So in other words, after you've bred them already.) For a total of 12 coins, you get a whole new piñata worth hundreds or (depending on species) thousands of coins. This is called a *profit*.

2) Fertilizer. You make fertilizer with the taffly, if you're an idiot. Do it once for the achievement, and thereafter buy it from the trader. (You did turn the beggar into the trader, didn't you?) Fertilizer costs 9 coins per application, but it works on *all* plants - unlike the taffly variety that must be the right colour. Fertilize a plant three times for full bonus growth. Let's take a chilli as an example. You buy a chilli seed (33, I think?), you grow it, you water it, you sell the chilli fruit for 100 coins. That's a profit of 77. Or, you buy the seed (33), fertilize (9), fertilize (9) and fertilize (9) spending a total of 60 coins. But the resulting chilli is worth 400 coins, which is a profit of 340 coins. You get better profits with higher level plants - orchids are choice (a fully grown, fully fertilised orchid is worth 1800, or 2160 if you sell the seeds as well).

* Activity

You should always be doing something. Here's a breakdown of things you should be doing:

- Decide which species you want next.
- Set up your garden to meet the attract requirements
- (While waiting) grow plants
- Set up your garden to meet the visit requirements
- (While waiting) grow more plants
- Set up your garden to meet the resident requirements
- (While waiting) grow more plants
- Once your desired species is resident, order Gretchen to hunt down another one. Always pay express postage because money isn't an issue - you've been growing all those plants, remember?
- Get the builder to build the house
- Plant seeds or items as needed to fulfil the romance requirements
- When Gretchen delivers the new piñata, get them to eat berries or lesser piñata or whatever, then romance them.
- While they're romancing, buy romance sweets.
- The minute you can control them again, direct them to the romance sweets (it makes the mazes easier if you do it quickly).
- Keep going until you get master romancer, then sell them off along with their house.
- Return to step 1.

Once you get the hang of it you can work on a couple of species at once.

To recap: keep your space clean (don't hang on to things you no longer need), generate an income and make sure you're always doing something.

Hope this helps - let me know if you have any questions. If there are any piñata or seeds that you want but don't have access to, let me know via message to my 360 - I'd be happy to post them.

Everyone knows, deep down in their hearts, that ninjas are way cooler than pirates. Pirates are all about scurvy, poor dental hygiene and bird crap all down your back. Let's not even mention the sodomy - a pirate is just a sub-class of a sailor, and we all know what they get up to.

Ninjas, on the other hand, are like liquid nitrogen - so cool they burn. They're mysterious, and lethal, and they probably brush their teeth. They're silent, invisible, and while they're not omniscient, omnipotent or omnipresent, there must surely be an 'omni' word to describe them - I just haven't thought of it yet.

You know who my favourite ninja is, but I'll say it anyway because I want to: Sam. I spent last night with him while Lenny was at a work dinner. (Whoa, that sounded *way* dirtier than I had intended.) You remember that review I wrote? The competition I entered? I won a faceplate - wooo! So when it turned up I felt that it was an auspicious time to play some more Double Agent.

Last night I began the story again on Hard, because I'm working toward the Professional Ninja achievement. This time, however, I'm playing for freedom. Okay, I played for Freedom last time, Freedom with a capital F as in anti-terrorist. But this time I'm going for freedom with a lower-case F, meaning that I'm playing with a kind of reckless abandon. I'm not worrying about my stealth score, I'll kill people if they're in the way, or if it's quicker, or if I feel like it. After all, I don't have to do anything more than complete the game to get the achievement. I could, if I so desired, run around in circles setting off flash-bangs to drive away evil spirits. Needless to say - I'm not.

I'm halfway through the third level and the current body count is Dead: 1, KO: 1. It's hardly a bloodbath, although I expect that will change once I get to Sea of Okohtsk (I like to spell that differently ever time, just for variety). That was my least favourite level and I expect that my score on that one will be spectacularly negative. I figure that I might aim for -800%. Perhaps I'll give myself a goal of -1000%, just so that it won't turn my stomach when I get to the end of the mission.

All of this is an aside to what I was going to say, which was that so far, hard isn't hard. I suspect that there are two reasons for this: 1) that having stealthed my way through it already, I'm not wasting time wandering down corridors the wrong way, and I have a passing familiarity with the guards' routes. 2) The game is so much easier when you kill people. It was the only way I could get through Sea of Okhotsk (see? Different spelling again. Two spellings for the price of one!) and although I haven't really exploited it yet, it does make things a hell of a lot easier. You can pick locks at your ease, knowing that everyone currently on the floor is dead. For some reason, Sam still murmurs "Hurry!" as he picks the lock. I'm not sure why, when there's no chance of being discovered, perhaps it's only his innate sense of professionalism that drives him to maintain a certain standard.

In one way I'm hoping that it won't take too long to complete the game. Striek gets back from YP soon, and I'll need more points to keep ahead of him. On the other hand, Splinter Cell 5 won't be out for a long, long, long, long, long, long time. (If it were coming out in January 07, that would still be too long.) So seeing as I'll be playing this for a while, it would be nice to make the achievements last. Or, you know, not.

I may post pics of my setup at some point, including the new faceplate - but that depends on whether I can get any decent photos.

No, my faceplate is not signed. I'm still vomitoriously jealous. ;-)

Gloat, gloat, gloat.

If you would kindly direct your attention to the right, you will see that I have passed Striek's gamerscore. As of now I am a smidgen away from 9k.

This happened on Saturday, after I went to the video store (media rental facility?) and hired NBA 2k6. I (I who suck beyond compare at sports games) managed to get all 1000 points in two games. This weekend is, I think, the only time I have ever played a game purely and solely for points. All the other games I've played have been because I like playing games: even if points have been a major consideration, they have still been the kinds of games I like to play.

So I passed Striek's score, and then I felt like a dirty point whore for five minutes, and then I got over it and started celebrating. Actually, I must have felt more guilty than I knew, because by way of compensation I didn't play on Sunday. (I set up Viva Piñata and walked away - that doesn't count.) Instead, I spent the day working on Striek's present. It's nearly finished, I just need to redo the lettering tonight. Stupid lettering! It's only 12 days until he gets the keys to his place (and we have a LAN to celebrate!) so it will be done in plenty of time. I'll probably even be able to wrap it. I've taken photos, so I'll post them once I've given it to him.

I'm thinking that in the new year - after I've received some cash Christmas presents - I might subscribe to a game rental service. People on the Xbox forums suggest The Rentertainer, but I've been to their website and I can't bring myself to subscribe to a company that puts up a website chock full of your/you're their/there/they're errors. Gamehounds has a professional looking website, but is more expensive. In the long run, I think grammar will win out. Also, with Gamehounds I can cancel my account when there are no games I want, and then resume it with no extra charge. If I go that way one of the first games I'll borrow will be FF XI. According to the case, you get the first month's membership free, so that could be worth a try.

Games on my list right now (and I'm not sure if I should look for them on eBay or wait until I know if I'm going ahead with the rental thing) are Star Trek: Legacy and the latest Bionicle game. I'm more optimistic about the Bionicle one as I like Lego games and Bionicles, but I'm still keen to give the Star Trek one a go. I think it's being released in the middle of this month, so I'll keep an eye out for reviews.

While I'm on the subject, has anyone played Marvel Ultimate Alliance? I downloaded the Bringing It Home trailer, which showed no video, no screenshots, nothing except moodily-lit heroes. It seemed as if they weren't bothering to sell the game, they were just going to let Superman, Spiderman and Wolverine do all the selling for them. Uh-huh. That trailer made me lose interest, it didn't pique it. I hear that some people like it though - but I need some more concrete information about what the game is like.

Now I'm working on getting the last achievement for Viva Piñata, and then I'll be trying to keep my score out of Striek's reach.  I'll be the defender!  I think that could be tougher.